An Interesting Year

Happy New Year.
I thought I'd share this video I made a couple of days ago. In it I talk about my 2015, which as the title suggests has been an interesting one to say the least.
I hope your own 2015 has been a little less hectic and eventful, unless that was for all the right reasons of course.


The blog post I mentioned can be found here: http://andymooseman.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/another-year-over.html

You've Got A Friend

As I've mentioned here before, I have a couple of notebooks, of different sizes, that I tend to carry around with me. They’re very useful for scribbling down thoughts, ideas, quotes and overheard comments etc.

In one of those I wrote down the following thought, “Music is like a life-raft on the turbulent seas of life”.
I know why I wrote those words at that time, although I’m not going to share that here.
The point being that there are times in all of our lives when we need a bit of comfort, and for many of us at least a part of that comfort comes via music. You only have to listen to the lyrics of many songs to realise that this is nothing new.

Sometimes we need music to raise our spirits, to reassure us, to cry along to, to escape into, or to motivate us. There is music and a song for every occasion, emotion, mood, mindset and situation, and if you have an open mind, musically, there will always be something out there that can work wonders in one of those aforementioned situations.
I expect we’ve all been there at one time or another during our lives? In fact I’d suspect that you’re lying if you say that wasn’t the case.

I’ve been a passionate music lover for as long as I can remember. I’ve played the drums in local bands, been a DJ on local radio and with mobile disco’s, I’ve written about music in various publications and on websites.
Music has been a constant and huge part of my life and I’m very grateful for that. I find it hard to see how it can be any other way for anybody and consequently the people that I tend to mix with and choose to be friends with, usually share that passion, albeit to varying degrees.
But over recent years music seems to have increased in importance to me and I’ve found myself turning to it more and more often, and not just because of a personal situation either, but often just because I’ve felt the urge to listen to music.

I realise that music is now more accessible than it’s ever been. It seems to be everywhere, inescapable even, in this Internet age. We can find it at the click of a mouse, or the tap on a smartphone. Whether that is a good thing, or not, is a topic for another day....

I’m not sure if I’m alone, or unusual, in feeling this way, but I suspect I’m not. The more I talk to people of my age, this seems to be a common theme. Yes, as I’ve mentioned, the people I mix with are musically minded people, but even so.....

As we grow older the amount of music that we become familiar with and hear, especially if you’re open minded to it, naturally increases. Using myself as an example, I was born in the late 1950’s and since the mid ’60’s have been absorbing music of varying genre’s. Some of that is bound to sink in, like a form of osmosis, regardless of how you feel about the music itself.
I’m sure we can all recite the lyrics and sing along to songs that we’d forgotten all about, or to songs we’d rather we didn’t remember! Why can I always sing along to songs that I dislike?

Music is also something that continues to deliver, often because no matter how many times we listen to a particular song, or piece of music, there always seems to be something new to discover within it.
I have often found myself listening to a song for the umpteenth time, and suddenly hearing the lyrics, as if for the first time, and finding that they really resonate with a particular time in your life, a situation you’ve been in, or are going through.
Funnily enough, I was having a conversation with a friend about this topic just last week. A conversation during which we both mentioned exactly the same number one song from the 1980‘s. We had both heard the song recently and we’d both been suddenly struck by the relevance of the lyrics, even though we’d both listened to the song countless times over the years.

The musical library in my head is expanding everyday. More songs are being added and old songs from the distant past, are being dredged up and remembered, often like old friends. A snippet of a song on the radio, in a film, or even on a TV commercial, can transport you back decades to another time, and another place. Music, just like the sense of smell, has the power to do that.

Music can be like that life-raft, something we can cling onto in times of need. But it can also be a time-machine, transporting us back a day, a year, or even decades, to times past.
Maybe that’s the ultimate beauty of music? It can mean many different things to many different people, and we can all use it for our own ends, and needs, whatever they may be.
What else can provide such a ubiquitous and enjoyable service?

PS: Since writing this I’ve come across another note I’d written, this time on my phone. Who needs a notebook these days eh?
It was ‘scribbled down’ some months ago now: “Music is a refuge, a safe haven and a loyal friend. One that you can rely on in times of trouble”.

Music is a loyal friend that doesn’t answer back, or question you or your actions. A friend that always says exactly the right thing, at just the right time.

Did You Ever....?

Did you ever have one of those opportunities that came completely out of the blue?
So much so that at first you didn't even realise it was there and the people you were working with probably didn't either.
Like a fire, it starts with a spark from an unforseen source and spreads from there.

Then, over the course of a few months and after many discussions and meetings, there is a creeping realisation that you may well be onto something big, something with real potential, something you had not even considered a short period before, something you weren't looking to do and something you had certainly never tried before.

But then the brick wall that has been lurking on the horizon the whole time, comes racing up to meet you. The brick wall that you knew was there, but didn't want to confront for fear of scuppering the whole project. The brick wall that you forlornly thought you may be able to circumvent, but in reality could only break through by creating big problems elsewhere. Problems you thought you could somehow overcome, but you now realise that that was a bit of a pie in the sky dream.

So with a heavy heart you collectively decide to abandon the project, before it gets too far advanced, and aim to go for something more realistic, hoping that the spirit will remain intact and that the time spent on it will not have been in vain.

After much reflection you now look back on the time, thought, work and emotion you put into the project with fond memories. The topsy turvy life you lived throughout that period will slowly return to normal and you know that the decision made to abandon the project was, most probably, the correct one to make.
That doesn't make that decision any easier to bear, but....

Now, naturally, you can't help but think of what might have been:
- Would the project have fully realised the potential you imagined?
- What might it have led to?
- Could you have done anything differently to help it succeed?
- What if circumstances had been different?

Whatever the answer to those questions, which in all likelihood will never be answered, nothing can take away the high hopes, good times and fun you had along the way.

Sometimes a journey can be as rewarding as reaching the final destination.
Maybe this was one of those occasions?
Only time will tell I guess?

Well? Did you ever?

Another Year Over......

...... And a new one just begun.

I've written about, or at least referenced, New Year resolutions quite enough over the past few days. But there's always room for at least one new angle on a particular topic and this is one I personally think is very relevant to most, if not all, of us.
It concerns a blog post that I became aware of a few months ago and I know it's one that has generated quite a lot of publicity since it was first written back in 2009.
That blog post was written by an Australian ex palliative care nurse, Bronnie Ware, and is called "Regrets Of The Dying".

When I first discovered it I shared it via social media, but at that time I only saw the headline list of those regrets. Those being:
1 - I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2 - I wish I didn't work so hard.
3 - I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
4 - I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5 - I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Although that list stayed with me, it wasn't until recently that I actually read the complete post which expands on those five main points and explains more about the reasons for the regrets of those patients in Bronnie Ware's care.
As she writes in that original post "For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives..... When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again." Hence that list above.

If you've not read the full post, I suggest you do.
When you have, I've no doubt that at least some of those five regrets will jump out at you and make you ponder, they certainly did for me.
I consider myself to be very lucky in that I have done quite a lot in my life that I am proud of, and have done things that many others haven't. But that doesn't mean that I don't have much that I still want to achieve, or at least try to do, in the future.
I also know that there is one point on that list that requires attention.....

I think it's probably unrealistic for anyone to do everything they want to do with their life, however hard we try, for a variety of reasons. But if you at least have the courage to try, even if you fail, those ultimate regrets will be fewer in number.

None of us can change our past, as much as we may want to. But we do have an opportunity to change our future, so why not do it and what better time to start than now? It is a new year after all.

Bronnie Ware's post ends with these words, "Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness."

What are you waiting for?

PS: Bronnie Ware has since expanded on that original blog post and written a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

A Man Is Not A Man.....

Well, I've been looking through some of those old note books, mentioned in my last post.

They certainly make fascinating reading, as they go back quite a few years. I can see some themes among the many jottings and notes within the pages and some very interesting thoughts and ideas too. I've no doubt I'll be using at least some of them here, over time.

There was one note that jumped out at me though and it was one that I'd completely forgotten about too. It was a comment on an old YouTube video of mine, which I'd made a note of. I have no idea which video it was, but the comment said, "A man is not a man until his father dies".

I've just Googled that quote to see if it may have been an old saying, but I can't find any suggestion of it being so. It does sound like an old quotation doesn't it and the kind of thing you'd find in a book?

I'm guessing that the comment was on a video I may have made when my own father died, back in January 2010. I may just have to go back and check.
I'm not sure that I would agree with the comment particularly, but I can certainly understand the meaning behind it.

I was already in my early 50's when my father died, when he was 92, so whether his death had any major impact on my life I'm not that sure, that's apart from the obvious grief and emotional impact that is.

One thing I would say though, is that that event was just the start of a pretty momentous year for me and one that has changed and influenced my life ever since. The whole year was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster.

As mentioned my father died in January 2010. My mother-in-law then died suddenly, just over a month later. My father's death was not a shock, due to his age and the fact that he'd not been well for a while. But my mother-in-laws death certainly was, so you can probably imagine the impact that had on the extended family, especially the grandchildren, to whom she was very close.

One aside from this is that, at my fathers funeral service, I gave a speech about his life and one that was very well received as it happens. Strangely enough, I didn't find that anywhere near as hard as I thought I would.
This was one area where my past experience of vlogging and talking into a video camera was a help. I treated the speech as a kind of vlog and, in an ironic twist of fate, the person I concentrated on most of the time during that speech was my mother-in-law. I have no idea why, but her's was the face that I found myself using as a form of video camera lens (I hope that makes some kind of sense?)

Part three of my annus horribilis was losing my job and being made redundant in June of 2010. Once again this was a shock, as although I knew changes were afoot, nobody expected staff members to lose their jobs, least of all me. I wasn't the only one by the way.

Naturally, this had a huge impact on my life both then and since. I was lucky in that I came out the other side in a fairly good state and am happier doing what I do now, than I ever was at work back then.
I was also lucky in that I had other interests and potential projects to fall back on, some of which were in the pages of those old note books.
So, in many ways, I am better off now than then, although not financially. But, I have learned that money isn't everything.
One possible regret though, is that I've never had the chance to go back and thank them for getting rid of me.

In September of 2010 my younger sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. Thankfully that was detected early and the subsequent treatment has meant that she is now back to full health. But, once again, this was another of those episodes that makes you stop and think about life, the universe and everything.

Since that year, my life has changed in many ways and it has also been a lot less traumatic too, thankfully. But it has changed my whole outlook on life, work, pleasure and passions. I've made many changes and I suspect there will be more to come.
I'm looking forward to it.

Change may not always come in the ways that you want it to, or would like it to. It can creep up on you when you least expect it and often there's nothing you can do about it.

Sometimes, it's not the changes themselves that affect your life, it's how you react to them. I've always tried to have a 'glass half full' mentality and I think that helped me through that year and beyond.

So, although I'm not sure that the death of my father was quite the event that made me a man, that whole year may well have been, at least, part of the reason that I am now the man I am?

PS: I've checked and I made a whole series of videos about my father's illness and subsequent death.
This is the first one: A Matter of Life and Death the 2nd is: Life is a Rollercoaster and then are a few more on the Rollercoaster theme, if you're interested. As to why I made and shared those videos? Well, maybe that's a topic for another post?

AudioBoo - Coincidences and Connections.

listen to ‘Coincidences and Connections.’ on Audioboo

It never ceases to amaze me how often coincidences occur. Here i talk about a few more.

David Hepworth blog post: http://whatsheonaboutnow.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/who-remembers-actual-pay-packets.html

All of my content mentioned in this AudioBoo can be found posted in this blog.

Six Years And Counting.

Yes, it's really been that long since i started here on YouTube.
Here are some reflections.

Vinyl Junkie blog: http://vinyljunkie58.blogspot.co.uk/

Moose Musings eBook: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Moose-Musings-ebook/dp/B006RXBRTC/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1345825598&sr=1-1

The Art Of Doing Nothing.

It's easier for some, than it is for others.

Here's a link to the video of mine that i mentioned:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9zsUSIrMjE

I Still Don't Know What To Do.....

Just talking and probably rambling too.

This was recorded a week ago and i've only just got around to posting it.

A beach vlog.

18 And Life.

You know you're getting old when.....

Be Careful What You Wish For....

....you might just get it.

Are you prepared for that and for the sacrifices you might have to make?

"The Fallacy Of Merely Existing"

A video inspired, partly, by an expression i read in a book & one that jumped out at me.

A bit of a ramble.

Think Like A Fish.

Seeing things from both sides.

Sadness Is All Around.

I, like many people across the UK, was shocked to hear of the very sad death of the footballer Gary Speed on Sunday.
It appears from reports that, tragically, Gary Speed took his own life.

It took a while for this to sink in as i'd only seen him on BBC's live Football Focus show the previous lunchtime and he appeared to be his normal self. I had to check to make sure that it was actually the same person. Unfortunately, it was.

This news made me pose the question, how could a man that i'd seen, apparently full of life, decide to end that life, at the very young age of 42, just a few hours later?

A possible clue came from a blog post from another ex footballer, Stan Collymore. In this blog post, which was rather scarily written in the early hours of Saturday morning, Stan Collymore speaks about his own struggles with depression.
I have seen it suggested, although i have no way of verifying this, that depression may have been a factor in Gary Speed's death.

Thankfully, i have never knowingly had any contact with depression myself, or with anyone suffering from it. Therefore, i am completely unqualified to talk about it. You only have to read Stan Collymore's blog post to realise how outward appearences can be deceptive and also how misunderstood the condition can be.
So, i will leave that discussion to those who are far more qualified.

On the radio this morning though, during the sports report, they were talking about an annual sports book prize, that is being awarded today. Coincidently, one of the books shortlisted is a biography of the German footballer, Robert Enke, who also took his own life, due to depression, in 2009.
(Update: The book about Robert Enke, "A Life Too Short" by Ronald Reng, won the William Hill Sports Book Of The Year Award for 2011)

During the course of the conversation it was suggested that sad and tragic events might be easier to write about than happier ones. This was not meant, in any way, to lessen the nature of the stories. But, this reminded me of another discussion i had heard recently about a completely unrelated subject, music.

Some of the best and most effective music you will ever hear, is written around sad circumstances.
The Blues is called that for a very good reason and where would Country music be without sadness and loss? There is that often told joke about playing a Country song backwards and everything becoming right with the world once again.

So often, it is those songs about love, loss and sadness that affect us the most. Possibly because we can all relate to them at some level?
I'm sure that you can think of your own examples. But, i'll give you some of my own.

For example, The Smiths built a whole career around the often bleak lyrics written by Morrissey.
The singer/songwriter John Martyn, who had many issues of his own, often wrote songs about the sad side of life, until his own untimely death in 2009.
A personal favourite musician of mine, Nick Drake also took his own life because of depression, way back in 1974. Nick Drake even wrote a song called "Black Eyed Dog", which contains lyrics all about the so called 'Black Dog', an often used expression used to describe depression.
The song contains the words, "A black eyed dog he called at my door...... A black eyed door he knew my name".
And how can you leave off of this list, possibly the grandaddy of them all, Leonard Cohen?

Winston Churchill, often thought of as the greatest Briton that ever lived, suffered from depression himself and often referred to "his black dog". Here's a quote from Churchill which gives some insight to how he somtimes felt:
"I don't like standing near the edge of a platform when an express train is passing through. I like to stand right back and if possible get a pillar between me and the train. I don't like to stand by the side of a ship and look down into the water. A second's action would end everything. A few drops of desperation."

All of this just goes to show that there is often far more sadness in the world than we care to admit exists, or are even aware of.
Depression and sadness may well have inspired some of the greatest art and music in history. But, it may also mask, or hide something far sadder that it is lurking, just below the surface. Even in the most gifted, talented and outwardly confident people.

It sometimes takes the sad and tragic death of a well known and respected sportsman like Gary Speed, or Robert Enke to make us realise that.

NHS - Depression:  http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Depression/Pages/Introduction.aspx
Depression Allaince: http://www.depressionalliance.org/
Depression UK: http://www.depressionuk.org./
Black Dog Institute:  http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/

(I thought long and hard about whether to upload this blog post. As i didn't know whether it was right to link the recent death of a much loved sportsman, with the effect of sadness and depression on music. I would hate anybody to think that i am taking depression lightly. That is the furthest thing from my mind. Hopefully, i have made the correct choice?)

Explain Yourself.

Should governments & companies explain themselves more? And if they did, would we be happy to be bombarded with all that information?

Some personal experiences & insights learned during my own working life.

What People Really Think.

In life you don't often find out what somebody really thinks about you.
I just did & it surprised me.

Nominate somebody to carry the Olympic torch:
http://www.london2012.com/games/olympic-torch-relay/carrying-the-olympic-flame/

Finished At 50?

Another video inspired by various conversations, videos & a tv progam.

Here's a link to my earlier video that i mentioned:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2-4H-21K0M

My video for Russion TV:
http://tvzvezda.ru/news/blog/content/velikobritaniya_vystavila_na_prodazhu_29...

Tsunami Porn.

I've no doubt that we've all seen many videos, over the past few days, of the terrible events in Japan.

Whether we've viewed them via traditional media, such as the TV, or whether we've seen them via links on sites such as Twitter, YouTube and Facebook, they have been compelling viewing.
As the days have past, more and more videos have appeared, or been discovered. And somewhat inevitably, those videos have been ever more amazing, frightening, awe inspiring... insert your own grizzly adjective here.

But, what draws us to these videos, to the many photos on the Internet, to read the newspapers, or to watch the rolling 24 hour news channels and their continuing coverage?

I have seen this phenomenon described as "Tsunami Porn", hence the title of this blog post.

But, does this term relate to what the viewer actually wants to see, or to what the 24 hour news channels think that we want to see?
I suspect that there may be a difference.

One of the consequences of rolling news is the need to fill that time with something, anything.
When there is a disaster of this kind, and we have had several examples over recent years, this can often lead to, what i would class as, intrusive, crass and over the top reporting.
There is almost a sense that some reporters are revelling in the situation because of the "great tv" that this must be making. I'm sure that this is not intended, at least most of the time. But, that is the way it often comes across to the viewer.
There is also an apparent need to find a new angle on the story. Something that another reporter hasn't thought of, or discovered.
A need to outdo the other side, if you will.

I would suspect that many viewers don't actually want to see the same news story dominating every minute of every news bulletin.
We don't always want the news bulletins to be extended, or news specials to replace our normal programmes, so that we can hear even more about what has happened.
We don't need to hear essentially the same thing from several "special news correspondents", who have flown into the area especially.

This may sound a little hard hearted, but i believe it to be true. Especially in these days when the news is available elsewhere at the touch of a button, or the click of a mouse.
And, maybe, that is at the heart of the "problem"? That need for the tv companies to keep you watching their own version of the events. Rather than you rushing off and watching it somewhere else.
Hence the need to show us more and more. They think that is what we want to see.

As with so many things these days. I'm not sure that we are treated as adults, or as people that are quite capable of making up our own minds about a particular topic.
That is one of the reasons that i now get so much of my news from sources other than tv. And i suspect that i am not alone.

I still watch the BBC news at 6 o clock. But, that doesn't mean that i don't get annoyed when some celebrity story appears, or an item that seems to be a blatant plug for another BBC programme.
(Other news programmes and channels are available, but are usually even worse)

But, i may well be in a minority in feeling this way?
I'm sure that many viewers are clued to their tv sets and can't get enough of what is being shown to them. Maybe they want to see ever more revealing footage, or intrusive interviews?

Maybe, i'm also just becoming so used to getting most of my news via the Internet, that the tv just can't provide what i want anymore?
After all, there is very little being shown on the tv that i can't access either on the BBC News website, which is my homepage, or in some other corner of the Internet.

I can get all the Tsunami Porn that i want via links on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube etc. And, to be honest, that's exactly what i've done.

I have watched, re-tweeted, shared and linked several videos over the past few days.
Many of these videos have been from Japan, but some have been of the after effects in places as far from Japan as Hawaii and California.

But, i think the differnce is that i've tailored my viewing to my own personal tastes. Something that the Internet allows me to do.
Whether it be Internet porn, or Tsunami Porn, we can choose what we see and when we see it.

My own desire to see the after effects of the Japanese earthquake and the subsequent tsunami (ironically a Japanese word), comes from a lifelong interest in earth sciences.
The study of volcanoes, earthquakes, plate tectonics and Earth Sciences in general, are one of those subjects that i've often wished i'd studied when younger.
I've long thought of doing courses, or even an Open University degree, or diploma based around these topics. Throughout my adult years i have read many books and watched many tv documentaries around these very topics.

The forces of nature fascinate me, hence my interest in recent events in both New Zealand and Japan.
And why do these subjects interest and fascinate me so much?
I'm not sure that i could ever fully explain that, but i do think the answer lies in a sense of wonder of what the forces of nature can do, despite all our best efforts to stop them.

Just look at Japan. A nation that was better prepared, because of its history, than any other to survive those natural forces. But, as we've seen so tragically over the past few days, when mother nature does its worst, there is nothing we can do to stop it.

In the end, we are all at the mercy of the forces of nature. We will all have to just accept that, no matter how unpalatable that truth may be.
Any event, such as the Japanese earthquake, that can shift the entire country 8 feet and also move the Earth on its axis, deserves much respect.

So, it may be Tsunami Porn for some, but for me it's just a sense of wonder over what the forces of nature can unleash amongst us.
And it's legal too.

Blast From The Past.

The death of an old friend and former band member.

The Song That Changed The World?

Can you guess what it is?

A follow up video will be forthcoming, telling you about 2 songs that changed me.
Why not let me know what yours are?